The Friday Fictioneers Late Night Memorial Day Weekend Double Header Picture Show (in the back row)

Friday! Madison Woods & the Friday Fictioneers! Read all about it HERE and play along.

It was an interesting picture this week. My first reaction was I can’t think of anything to write about a couple of goofy moths waiting for breakfast at McDonald’s so I wrote this -

Breakfast at McDonald’s

Michael felt his pulse quicken as he read Madison’s message that the photo prompt was up. He loved these prompts and looked forward to them, maybe a little more than another person would consider normal.

He looked at the picture and swore. “What the hell is this?” he shouted loud enough to raise a comment from a co-worker.

Ya alright?”

“Moths!”

“Huh?”

“Moths at McDonald’s!”

“Moths?”

“Nevermind.”

Michael refocused on the picture and shook his head at the absurdity of two moths at the drive-up window at McDonald’s.

“To hell with this,” he said. “I’m not doing this week’s challenge.”

(100 words)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Then I was looking at the picture again yesterday and I suddenly had an idea for another 100 word shortie so, with hopes that two teeny-weeny shorties isn’t a violation of the Friday Fictioneers Code of Honor, here’s #2.

The Lepidopterists

Jasper stood breathless on the hot asphalt of the McDonalds drive-thru, ignoring both the heat and the hungry drivers lined up behind him. He was focused on his two unique finds: the large brown moth and the luna moth. Jasper and his wife had been collecting moths for years and he shivered thinking how excited his wife would be with these.

The moth hunter swept his net in a graceful downward arc and nabbed both moths.

“Oh, joy!” he said.

Jasper smiled as his wife approached. He presented her with the net and said, “For you, Edwina. Happy Moth-er’s Day.”

(100 words)

Attention Kmart Shoppers

Good things make you feel good, right? I believe that’s true, so did you hear the one about Winchester, Kentucky, businessman Rankin Paynter? Winchester is about 20 miles east of Lexington, Kentucky, and about three hours north of Harlan, Kentucky, where the FX Network’s show Justified takes place. So Mr. Paynter recently went to his local Kmart to pick up some supplies for his jewelry exchange business and he saw a sign alerting shoppers to the fact the store would be closing in two days. Paynter was surprised how much inventory was left in the store being so close to closing, and when he asked a clerk what they do with all the leftovers he was told that all remaining inventory in a store at closing is bought up by Kmart “power buyers”. I don’t know what a “power buyer” is, but my guess is a “power buyer” is maybe a buyer for an off-price retailer like Marshall’s, T.J. Maxx, Filene’s Basement and Big Lots. Anyway, Rankin Paynter decided to become a Kmart “power buyer” and six hours and $200,000 later, he had purchased the store’s remaining inventory.

Yeah, so what. Rich people are always buying stuff, right? Hold on, here’s where it gets good.

Rather than turn the items over for an estimated $30,000 – $40,000 profit, Rankin Paynter donated everything to Clark County Community Services. Paynter, 77, an unassuming man in a t-shirt, short pants and tennis shoes, said in his thick Kentucky accent, “It’s time to give back, ‘ya follow me?” In addition to the large donation, Mr. Paynter has also rented a building to store the items until they can be used by the county this winter.

Rankin Paynter is no stranger to poverty and to ‘going without’. As a child he had to tie rags onto his feet during the winter because all he had were summer slippers.

Judy Crowe, Executive Director of Clark County Community Services said the donation, which was the largest the agency has ever received, was unexpected. She said this year will be the first time her agency will have enough coats, gloves and hats for all the children they serve during their Operation Happiness program.

If you wonder why a person would spend $200,000 to help people he doesn’t know, Rankin Paynter answers that question by saying, “Just cuz a lot of them is needy is no sign they’re bad people and if I can help them, I do.”

My thought: this is a happy story that gives me some optimism that maybe the world isn’t really the messed up place I think it’s becoming. Sure, not many people – or maybe I should qualify that as ‘not many people who care’ since I think a good number of people have a lot of money – have $200,000 laying around to buy up department stores for charity, but I don’t know if those generous bulk donations are what we should focus on. Yes, the $200,000 donations are very important, but so are the $1.00 donations. Maybe even more important in a way.

If you’ve read this far would you like to do me a favor? No, you don’t need to get your check book or give me your Paypal ID, just close your eyes and take five seconds and think one good thought. Just one good thought to put a little bit of positive energy out into our universe.

If you’re interested in Clark County Kentucky’s Operation Happiness:
Operation Happiness, P.O. Box 574, Winchester, Ky., 40392.

Local stuff near you:
http://feedingamerica.org/
http://foodpantries.org/
http://www.ampleharvest.org/find-pantry.php
http://www.eurofoodbank.eu/portail/index.php?lang=en
http://www.foodbanking.org/
http://www.foodbank.org.za/

If you’re interested in reading about another good-deed-doer, check out Ronnie Greene, the “Year ‘Round Santa”.

Hands

The Weekly Photo Challenge Prompt:

Share a picture that has a HAND in it with everyone! 

I liked this prompt because our hands are used for so many good and fun things and I thought taking some pictures of those good and fun things would be enjoyable. But then I started to think about our veterans coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan with no feet, no legs, no arms and… no hands. This isn’t to say that people missing limbs don’t lead full and happy lives, that thought just got me thinking in a different direction and wondering what else our hands do that maybe isn’t so much fun and enjoyable.

Hands… cover our shame. 

 

New to The Daily Post? Whether you’re a beginner or a professional, you’re invited to get involved in our Weekly Photo Challenge to help you meet your blogging goals and give you another way to take part in Post a Day / Post a Week. Everyone is welcome to participate, even if your blog isn’t about photography.

 Here’s how it works:

1. Each week, we’ll provide a theme for creative inspiration. You take photographs based on your interpretation of the theme, and post them on your blog anytime before the following Friday when the next photo theme will be announced.

2. To make it easy for others to check out your photos, title your blog post “Weekly Photo Challenge: (theme of the week)” and be sure to use the “postaday″ tag.

3. Subscribe to The Daily Post so that you don’t miss out on weekly challenge announcements.

I’m an Unwilling Participant in a Scientific Experiment

As such things are wont to happen; I am an unwilling participant in a scientific experiment in human biology.

(public domain clipart from: http://www.wpclipart.com/)

Worse, it’s not even one of those experiments were you get paid for participating.

It all started this past Saturday night when I was eating dinner. It was a nice dinner with good company and I was sort of lost in the moment and enjoying myself. Suddenly, about halfway through the meal, I realize I’m missing part of the second lower molar on the left side of my mouth. I feel around with my tongue and it’s pretty jagged but most of the tooth is still intact. My first reaction was to get mad because who wants to go sit in the dentist’s chair and deal with this stuff but then I realized I never felt the broken portion of the tooth in my mouth which means I had to have swallowed the thing. The only other time I broke a tooth I knew it right away and I spit out the chunk of broken tooth but I guess this little ivory nugget is on a journey where no man has gone before. So now I sit (literally) and wait to see what happens and that, friends, is the experiment in human biology that I’m currently a part of.

Sort of on the subject of biology, I’ve decided that itching is frequently a product of our minds. Like if we think about itching, or think we should be itching, we suddenly feel an itch. Of course then the more we scratch, the more we itch. I just itched my chin.

Baseball Joke of the Day: Joe Mauer is changing his uniform number from ‘7’ to ‘6-4-3’. Get it? I’m a Joe Mauer fan and I don’t buy any of the criticisms from local fans and sportswriters, but I thought the joke was funny.

Enjoy your Monday and thanks for reading!

And The Angels Sing

Thank you to Madison Woods for hosting Friday Fictioneers. Every week Madison posts a photo prompt and the Fictioneers write a 100-word story to the prompt. It’s open to anyone, and if you like writing you should give it a shot. To play, click HERE.

 

And The Angels Sing

“Gabriel?”

“What’s up, Lucifer, I’m a little busy. Got a message…”

“I’m sad.”

“Can’t it…”

“Not really, Gabe, no. It’s one of those days, you know. I’m feeling the stresses of the job.

Gabriel checked his watch. “Louie, come here, let’s play.”

“What d’ya mean?”

“I’ll show you. Spread your wings and follow me.”

The angels flew from heaven, stopping above a lea outside of a forest in northern Minnesota.

“Check it out, brother. The Boss* was working this morning.”

“So?”

“It’s a slide. A double slide!”

Lucifer smiled in anticipation. “And?”

“And we’re going to ride it, brother!”

~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ 

99 words. One extra for the theologians to argue over.

* A heavenly Boss. Not Bruce Springsteen

~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~ ~-~

And a video for the romantics:

Book Review: Beautiful Naked & Dead

Beautiful Naked & Dead – http://joshstallings.net/

 

You know what, forget Moby Dick and A Tale of Two Cities because Beautiful, Naked & Dead by Josh Stallings has one of the best opening lines of a book I’ve ever read: “There is nothing quite like the cold taste of gun oil on a stainless steel barrel.” If that doesn’t pique your hard-boiled interest then this might not be your genre. If it does, then take the phone off the hook and cancel your plans because once you get past that opening sentence you’re not going to want to talk to anyone or go anywhere until you’ve finished reading.

Moses McGuire is a forty-three year old ex-marine and ex-con standing at a dead end. A child of the ‘battle zone’, he works as a bouncer at a strip club when he needs the money, which is pretty much all the time. Moses is damaged and teetering on the brink and he wakes up every morning wondering if that’s the day he has the nerve to check out. Yes, it’s bleak, dark and depressing but sometimes that’s life. At least it is in Stallings’ gritty and violent world. It isn’t until Mo gets a call from a close friend who works at the club that he finds a reason to get up in the morning. If you want more of a synopsis than that you’ll have to get it elsewhere because I don’t want to spoil any story developments for you.

One bit of advice - two actually; the first is to go out and get this book and the second is to not make my mistake and casually add it to your reading pile. I read books in the order I get them and when I got a copy of Beautiful, Naked & Dead, I just added it to the bottom of the pile where it waited its turn. Don’t make that same mistake. Get this one and start reading it immediately. And I’m talking like walking-to-your-car immediately. Even if you’re driving, read it. You can drive with one hand and hold the book with the other and read at red lights.

Beautiful, Naked & Dead is written with raw power and authenticity and Moses McGuire is one of the most compelling noir anti-heroes I’ve read in some time. If it’s true that authors get better the more they write, then we have a lot to look forward to from Josh Stallings.

Oh, and trust me on one thing, when I get the sequel, Out There Bad, it’ll go right to the top of my reading pile.

How to Meet Women

I was thinking: what’s the best way to meet women?

What kind of question is that, you’re asking yourself. Why would a ruggedly handsome guy like you – an International Man of Mystery – need to think about meeting women. Surely you must have women throwing themselves at your feet whenever you leave the house, you’re saying, so this should be the last thing on your mind. Well, yeah, I mean that’s all true and stuff, but I’m thinking about this for guys who might be less fortunate than myself, you know?

So what are two things women like? I figure it’s dogs and babies. I’m not going to get a dog and I can’t have a baby. I can act like a baby although I’m not sure that’s a good thing to advertise, but what if I could smell like a baby? It could prove to be irresistable. I got this idea when I was walking down an aisle at Walgreens and saw a container of Johnson’s Baby Powder. I stopped and looked at it and started thinking. Hmmm, I began my thinking. Women + Women Like Babies + Smell Like A Baby = Meet Women! Really now, could the math be any simpler? Plus, should I decide to go ahead and use the powder, I can not only smell like a baby and raise my Irresistable Factor, but I can also be fresh and dry all summer long. It’s win/win, right? I’ll let you know how it works. I mean I’ll let you know how it works should I actually go back to Walgreens and buy some.

I recently watched the Survivor One World finale and was surprised to find this picture of host Jeff Probst the day after the show. Twins fans rule!